the dippeting grombie

Jimmy Carr

2007-11-25T12:55:00.000-08:00

I have just noticed what a great comedian this dude is!! I was feeling a bit mopey the other night and he cheered me right up. I am definitly going to go and see him live - I love the way he takes the piss out of audience members.

Change is in the Air

2007-11-25T12:53:00.001-08:00

I am on a mission to make some big changes for the new year!!! All the things I dont like about my current situation I am going to do something about. Starting with a new job!!!!!!

I think the problem with a lot of people is they get stuck in a rut and are afraid to do anything different or take any risks. Well, you can live your life like that and live with regret OR you can do something about it!!!!

I am still alive

2007-09-26T03:11:00.000-07:00

.....but SO busy with work and masses of other stuff I have almost forgotton I have a blog.

Will think of something intelligent to write soon.

How do you stop an elephant from charging?
By removing his batteries.

A 2nd grader asked her mother the age-old question, "How did I get here?" Her
mother told her, "God sent you."
Did God send you, too?" asked the child.
"Yes, Dear," the mother replied.
"What about Grandma and Grandpa?" the child persisted.
He sent them also," the mother said.
"Did he send their parents, too?" asked the child.
"Yes, Dear, He did," said the mother patiently.
"So you're telling me that there has been no sex in this family for 200 years!
No wonder everyone's so grouchy around here."

Q. What’s the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? A. Put the remote control between his toes.

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"

Long Summer Holiday!

2007-08-14T04:59:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about being a teacher is the great holidays!! I have recently returned from a two week trip to Ireland and still have 3 weeks to go before I have to go back to work!!!

We managed fill the two weeks with loads of stuff including a visit to Belfast, Giants Causeway, the beautiful Rathlin Island, Newgrange in Meath (I managed to bump into someone who knows my Aunt who lives in Navan - its a small country!!), The Rock of Cashel in Tipperary, Vinegar Hill and the 1798 Rebellion Centre as well as the picturesque Wexford Town. Not to mention the beautiful beaches (climbed the second highest sand dune in Ireland), lovely B&B's and we are also very grateful for hospitality from my boyfriend's parents and brother.

Now just to decide what to do with the rest of my summer holiday....hmmm.....time to write that novel perhaps....???

A Gorgeous Brute!!

2007-07-11T04:57:00.000-07:00

This cat is so unusual with different coloured eyes!!!

Here is an extract from a cats diary which I found. It is effective as it illustrates the way they exist alonside humans!!!

DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was... Hmmm. Not working according to plan...

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak), and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

And a final word...

Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool? She had mittens.

A Big Dose of Harry Potter!!!!

2007-07-11T04:48:00.000-07:00

I am so excited because not only is the film of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix about to come out but the new and probably final Harry Potter book is published on 21st July!!!!

I am going on holiday on 22nd July so I can't decide whether to shut myself away on Saturday 21st and read it all at once, take it on holiday and read it a bit at a time (if I have time which I may not) or leave it at home and ration myself to only reading a couple of chapters a day throughout August. Hmmmmm....decisions.. decisions....

Children

2007-06-26T05:33:00.000-07:00

I miss being a child!! I miss being able to go on swings and slides and roundabouts without people giving me odd looks. I miss being able to ride my bike on the pavement without elderly ladies glaring at me. I miss being able to say rude things in public and people just thinking I was cute. I miss the attention from older relatives who thought everything I said was interesting. But most of all I miss the freedom to do stupid things and people would think 'she's only little'. Now I do the same things and they think 'where are the men in white coats?'

Returning to my childhood is impossible and in fact there are lots of things I would not want to return to. Like being told what to do by parents, carers, teachers and anyone older who felt like it. Like being patronised and ignored when an 'adult' conversation was going on. Like being restricted and watched all the time.

Therefore I think the only solution would be to have a child of my own. Then I will be able to go back on the swings and the slides and play frisbee in the park and shout odd things in public and people will think it's OK, she's just entertaining her child. She isn't mad. Also think how fit I will get doing all that running around!! I can go swimming and play in the water with a big blue beach ball instead of having to do boring adult lane swimming. I can go to the zoo and make funny noises at the animals without feeling stupid. I can go to the Tower of London and Madame Tussauds and the museums and the London Eye and climb hills and mountains and see all that stuff again with new eyes.

OK OK I know I will have to go through a couple of years of inarticulate noises, dirty nappies and sleepless nights before my child gets old enough to do all these things but it will be worth it!! Babies are cute anyway so....I have decided to have one soon, hopefully by 2008!!! In fact it is something I MUST do. I think my boyfriend understands. At least I hope so!!! A lot of men don't understand how some women feel about having a baby. It is not an idea it is something we must do in order to make our lives complete.

Ni Ni Ni Ni Ni!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-24T06:11:00.000-07:00

I was worrying about something unimportant the other day and suddenly thought - how stupid am I being??? I decided then and there to never ever worry about anything again. Even the worst thing I could possibly imagine happening has a positive side. Even terminal illness, pain and death has a good side - at least I will know what is on the other side of death and find out about the afterlife. Even if I lost my job and home and had to start all over again - it would be exciting, something new!!

So...................from now on I am going to be totally chilled about everything.

I will let the Knights who say Ni of the esteemed Python of Montingness have the last word on this:

Arthur: Who are you?

Knight of Ni: We are the Knights who say..... "Ni"!

Arthur: (horrified) No! Not the Knights who say "Ni"!

Knight of Ni: The same.

Other Knight of Ni: Who are we?

Knight of Ni: We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and Nee-womm!

Other Knight of Ni: Nee-womm!

Arthur: (to Bedevere) Those who hear them seldom live to tell the tale!

Knight of Ni: The knights who say "Ni" demand..... a sacrifice!

Arthur: Knights of Ni, we are but simple travelers who seek the enchanter who lives beyond these woods.

Knights of Ni: Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni! Ni!

Bedevere: No! Noooo! Aaaugh! No!

Knight of Ni: We shall say "Ni" to you... if you do not appease us.

Who remembers Castle Sauberac?

2007-05-15T07:57:00.000-07:00

It is eleventh century England. Deep in the heart of the countryside, bumbling magician Catweazle finds himself cornered by Norman Soldiers. Relying on the unsure powers of his magic, he leaps into a lake to escape his pursuers. However he flees further than he had hoped travelling nine hundred years through time into the twentieth century. In unfamiliar surroundings Catweazle is soon discovered by Carrot, a young boy who lives at a local farm, and through him, Catweazle discovers that things have changed beyond his imagination.

The first episode of Catweazle was shown on 15th February 1970, more than 6 years before I was born. The series was conceived and written by Richard Carpenter, and ran for two seasons starring Geoffrey Bayldon as the irrepressible Catweazle. As a child in the 1980s I was given the books and was entranced by the story of the wizard and his antics. Recently I watched the television series on DVD and was struck by how much better childrens programmes were then than they are now.

At around 12 years old I loved the BBC childrens comedy series Maid Marian and Her Merry Men written by Tony Robinson (aka Baldrick in Blackadder). I still have a tired old video tape on which I recorded all the episodes and I still watch it now .

Robin Hood is an ineffectual wimp, whereas the formidable idealist Marian is the true leader of the resistance against the evil monarch King John. Marian terrorises the forest-dwelling peasants into following her commands as she plots to rob from the rich to feed the poor. But, courageous and capable though she is, her plans rarely turn out as she envisages, being derailed either by her naive idealism or the sheer incompetence of the mentally challenged nincompoops who comprise her Merry Men, including Rabies, Barrington (a Rastafarian) and the appropriately diminutive Little Ron.

Another brilliant kids TV series, The Ghosts of Motley Hall, also written by Richard Carpenter, was shown in 1976 (the year I was born). I have never seen the series but absolutely loved reading the book - I am going to oreder the DVD as I am sure I will love it as much as an adult as I did as a child.

Motley Hall was for sale! And, as the local residents were saying, a good thing too, for it had been looking more derelict every year as it lay empty, gathering layers of dust and ivy and cobwebs, while the owner, the last of the big Uproar family, travelled abroad on his own. Now he was dead (knelt on by an elephant, people said!), and the house would be sold. It didn't matter much, for there was no one left to care - or no one that ordinary people knew about. What they didn't know was that there was a thriving community of GHOSTS at Motley Hall, all of whom were taking a very lively interest in its fate. Motley was much more than a home to them; it was more a rather comfortable prison, because they could never leave it even if they wanted to, so it would be bad luck if it fell into the wrong sort of hands, or worse still, if the house were to be demolished. Then they wouldn't stand the ghost of a chance.
The future looked frightful, but the ghosts of Motley Hall - Bodkin the clown, Sir Francis the gambler, irascible Sir George the Victorian general, Matt the stableboy, and the mysterious White Lady - were determined to defend Motley against all comers. And what they lacked in physical force could be made up by powers of a supernatural kind.

The fantastic Harry Potter series covers the book/film genre but there is definitly a gap in the market for a good childrens TV series.....maybe one day I will get some inspiration to write one....

Possibly the Cutest Animal Ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-08T07:14:00.000-07:00

The slender loris is about the size of a chipmunk, with long, pencil thin arms and legs. It is between 15-25 cm long and is found in the rainforests of Southern India and Sri Lanka.

I just want to take it home and cuddle it!!!!!!

Romantic Love

2007-05-08T04:33:00.000-07:00

Tristan & Isolt

Night, and vast caverns of rock and of iron: Voices like water, and voices like wind:
Horror, and tempests of hail that environ
Shapes and the shadows of two who have sinned.
Wan on the whirlwind, in loathing uplifting
Faces that loved once, forever they go,
Tristram and Isolt, the lovers, go drifting,
The simmer and laughter of Hell below.

by Madison Cawein

The Arthurian legend of Tristan and Isolde is one of the great romantic stories of the Middle Ages. The picture above by John William Waterhouse is a beautiful depiction of the lovers.

Love can be defined in many different ways, such as the love of a mother for her child, the love found in close friendship and the love which grows after years of marriage. The type of love most often written about in both literature and films is romantic love.

When individuals base their marriages and relationships on romantic love they are likely to fail because this type of feeling is based completely on illusion.

The dictionary defentition of the adjective romantic can be summarised as follows:
1.
pertaining to, or of the nature of romance; characteristic or suggestive of the world of romance: a romantic adventure.
2.
fanciful; impractical; unrealistic: romantic ideas.
3.
imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure, chivalry, etc.
4.
characterized by a preoccupation with love or by the idealizing of love or one's beloved.
5.
displaying or expressing love or strong affection.
6.
ardent; passionate; fervent.

Tristan, orphaned nephew of King Mark of Cornwall, goes to Ireland to be cured of a battle wound by Isolde. Mark falls in love with Tristan’s reports of Isolde, and sends Tristan back to Ireland to ask her to marry him on his behalf. Isolde accepts the offer of marriage from King Mark. On the return journey from Ireland to Cornwall, Tristan and Isolde inadvertently drink a love potion intended for Mark and Isolde. There is a great conflict between the way Tristan and Islode feel about each other and the allegiance which both lovers owe to King Mark. Isolde marries Mark but continues her affair with Tristan. Tristan and Isolde are sent into exile as a punishment. Later King Mark forgives them and Tristan makes an unconsummated marriage to another Isolde, Isolde of the White Hands.

Ultimately, Tristan is again wounded by a poisonous weapon. Only the Irish Isolde can heal him. He sends for her, arranging as a sign that the sail of the ship sent for her should be white if she agrees to come to him, and black otherwise. Isolde comes and a white sail heralds her arrival, but Isolde of the White Hands, motivated by jealousy, tells Tristan that the sail is black. He dies of despair. Isolde arrives and kills herself.

Tristan, King Mark, and Isolde all hold love for each other. Tristan honours, respects, and loves King Mark as his mentor and adopted father; Isolde is grateful that Mark is kind to her, which he is certainly not obliged to be; and Mark loves Tristan as his son, and Isolde as a wife. It is the romantic love, the unreal dream which Tristan and Isolde have for each other which leads to their ultimate downfall.

Tagged

2007-04-17T05:12:00.000-07:00

I was tagged ages ago by Grumpy Old Man of the Border Cobblers variety and finally feel in the mood to provide five (more) things you (probably) don't know about me.

1) Quite often I feel like going to a fancy dress shop, hiring a chicken outfit, putting it on and proceeding to skip down a busy street making loud clucking noises at everyone in my path - one day I will fulfil this dream. 2) My ambition is to write a number of bestselling novels and make enough money so that my teaching is just something I do as a hobby (then I would boast very annoyingly about my newfound status and tell my pupils that if they do really well at English some of them may possibly be (nearly) as successful as me) 3) I have already begun writing and often get inspiration from listening to the conversations of strangers (again, often on London Underground) 4) I talk to myself in the mirror most days. It really helps to discuss things with someone who understands. 5) Sometimes I wonder if it would have been better to leave school at 16 and go and work on a farm and not do anything academic at all instead of having all the A level and university shenanigans (hope none of my pupils read this - your exams ARE important - yes really!!!)

Work is Evil

2007-03-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

What is the point of a five day working week? Who the hell came up with the idea that the harder we all work the better we all are as people? Many of us have the idea that by working harder we are supposed to become closer to God or something. Well this is a load of bollox in my opinion. More chillout time would make everyone happier. If we had a three day week and a four day weekend all the people who usually walk around looking miserable would have time to say hello and have a chat with each other. Life would be sunnier. Days would be long and sweet like when you are a child and your summer holiday seems to go on forever. What does it matter if the economy loses a bit of profit? Tony Blair is only spending it on going to war and how is this helping anyone? As for making money, why should these investment bankers and lawyer types want to go into the city and work twelve hour days if they have no time to enjoy their wealth?

We are losing sight of the important things in life. Brendan Behan had the right attitude when he said:

I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper, and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.

Laziness. Bring it on!!!

Education is not filling a bucket, but lighting a fire. W.B Yeats

2007-03-16T04:49:00.000-07:00

Much as I admire Mr Yeats I must disagree with him on this point. I have found that a fire only exists to be lit in some children. others have to have knowledge stuffed down their throats.

Plastic Paddy Amateur Scribbling Awards

2007-03-09T03:14:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I went to the Irish Blog Awards http://awards.ie/blogawards/ although my blog would not be particularly suitable for entry, hence I didn't. Enter that is. Being born and raised in London (even though my father is from Co Meath) hardly qualifies me as truly allowed to claim green guiness runs through my veins, and as for being a blogger, well REAL bloggers take it seriously, giving thought and consideration to each post, probably spending time researching what they are writing. They assumedly also care about attracting as many comments as possible wheras I am glad if I get the occasional one from someone I haven't bribed, threatened or nagged into doing it.

So why the devilish blazes was I at the awards? Well, I went with my boyfriend who is proper Irish and a proper blogger (check out his intellectual and erudite posts at http://thelonglane.blogspot.com) so I felt like a bit of a non-person and that everyone was going to talk to him rather than me (not a good feeling for someone who likes to chat as much as I do). I got into conversation with a French lady who is doing a PhD on blogging (what a good idea) and said a brief hello to Mick Fealty of the Slugger O'Toole variety www.sluggerotoole.com (although he was a bit confused when I tapped him on the shoulder shouting "Hey Slugger" and he then wisely proceeded to talk to Ciaran instead). I also met the lovely Red Mum http://redmum.blogspot.com whose excellent blog I have now looked at properly. I was very much looking forward to meeting Twenty Major http://twentymajor.blogspot.com who I think well deserved the award for best blog. However I was rather dissappointed that he was a clean cut well spoken youngish gentleman....I had been rather hoping for a tennement dwelling filthy foul odourous old geezer......sigh.....

A Prayer Answered

2007-02-20T05:03:00.000-08:00

I found an old newspaper cutting recently which containned a prayer which, the writer claimed is never known to fail. I think it was from the Irish Post or some similar paper which I can't remember buying. The extract read as follows:

Say this prayer 3 times for 3 consecutive days and it will be granted to you.

Oh, most beautiful Flower of Mount Carmel, fruitful vine, splendour of heaven, blessed mother of the son of God, immaculate virgin, assist me in my necessity. Oh, star of the sea, help me and show me you are my mother. Oh, holy Mary mother of God, queen of heaven and earth, I humbly beseech you from the bottom of my heart to succour me in my necessity (make your request). There are none that can withstand your power.Oh Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee. (say this 3x) Holy mother, I place this cause in your hands. (say this 3x)

I remember saying this prayer when I was a teenager and as was typical of me then I was asking for all kinds of riches and romances and successes which never happened. However very recently I thought I would give it another try. Someone very close to me has been having some worrying career problems that he has been unable to solve. Whatever he has tried seems to have gone wrong. I made a request that he find a new job that would make him happy - and you know what, it worked!!!

So, I have come to the conclusion that this prayer only brings results when you ask for something good, something unselfish, or something to benefit someone else.

Reincarnation

2007-02-12T09:48:00.001-08:00

When I was a child I took it for granted that we would all live forever. Of course I knew about death, but that was just the body wasn't it? Everything around me was so familiar I was sure I had been on the earth thousands if not millions of years and would be here for a few thousand more at least.

Many artists and thinkers through the ages have believed in reincarnation, a knowledge that each of us has a soul, a divine spark that has lived before and will live again in a new body and this will continue until we reach perfection and become part of God.

W. B. Yeats, one of my favourite poets and a member of the mystical society The Order of the Golden Dawn, expresses this belief beautifully in the poem Under Ben Bulben when he writes:

Many times man lives and dies
Between his two eternities,
That of race and that of soul,
And ancient Ireland knew it all.
Whether man die in his bed
Or the rifle knocks him dead,
A brief parting from those dear
Is the worst man has to fear.
Though grave-diggers' toil is long,
Sharp their spades, their muscles strong.
They but thrust their buried men
Back in the human mind again.

Looking at nature and the way it renews itself in a new form every spring it is impossible to believe we will not return again and renew ourselves in the same way. No one can be judged by God on the evidence of just one human lifespan, we are born into such differing circumstances and no one is born equal. It makes sense that there is a bigger picture. As Voltaire said:

"It is not more suprising to be born twice than once, everything in nature is resurrection"

Edgar Cayce (1847-1935) was a famous American psychic who would diagnose and often cure patients illnesses while himself was in a trance-like state. During his sessions he would often regress patients back into their past lives and thereby find the cause of whatever was troubling them in this life. He believed that God is perfect goodness and love and each of us will be reincarnated again and again until we learn to be free from every emotion, every thought and evil action which goes against God and summarised this in the following quote:

"In the beginning all souls were as a unity to the God-Force. As self added or subtracted that which was in keeping with God's purpose, ye added or subtracted from the blessings ye might be conscious of in materiality. Thus karma is builded. And the law is perfect - what ye sow ye reap. There is no law causing man to separate himself from his Maker. There is no cause except man's own indulgence or neglect."

Some Christians incorporate reincarnation as part of Christian doctrine and believe that the Bible originally containned references to reincarnation, but later on the church supressed much of this information. However there are still some references which remain. For example Jewish priests were sent to ask John the Baptist, "Art thou Elijah?" (John, 1:21), which is seen as supporting the conception that Jewish priests believed in the theory of reincarnation. Christ said of John the Baptist "This is Elijah." (Matthew 11:14.) Later on, upon the Mount of Transfiguration, Christ said, "Elias is come already, and they knew him not, but have done unto him whatsoever they listed… Then the disciples understood that He spake unto them of John the Baptist." (Matthew 17:12,13).

Psychiatrist Dr Ian Stevenson who died just recently, conducted over 3000 case studies which taken as a whole are highly suggestive of the truth of reincarnation. He is best known for collecting and researching the claims of children who spontaneously remember having lived before. In many of these cases the children have provoded information they could not possibly have known any other way.

Ultimately though, whether we accept this belief or not is a matter of intuition and faith.

Insignificance

2007-02-07T05:42:00.000-08:00

Fallen Majesty

Although crowds gathered once if she but showed her face,
And even old men's eyes grew dim, this hand alone,
Like some last courtier at a gypsy camping place
Babbling of fallen majesty, records what's gone.

The lineaments, a heart that laughter has made sweet,
These, these remain but I record what's gone. A crowd
Will gather, and not know it walks the very street
Whereon a thing once walked that seemed a burning cloud.

W.B. Yeats

This reminds me of the insignificance of us as physical beings. However much we are acclaimed and noticed, however much others crowd around to catch a glimpse, in reality our bodies will all turn to dust very soon. So if we have not given any thought to what's inside, to our soul, then what will live on?

Doctor Who - Aliens of London

2007-01-30T13:45:00.000-08:00

One of my favourite episodes of Doctor Who stars Chris Eccleston who in my opinion made an all too brief appearance as the ninth Doctor. He quit in 2005 after making just one series because he feared being 'typecast'. He added a cheeky down to earth element to the role and made the doctor appear more human. As he is not human and is in fact an alien from the planet Galifrey you may wonder why I consider this a point in his favour. I think Eccleston brought out a quality in the doctor which we can empathise with whilst preserving the fact that he is also so different from us.

In Aliens of London the Doctor takes Rose back home to London to visit her mum. Rose (played by Billie Piper) thinks she has only been gone for a few minutes but in fact has been missing for a year. Her Mum has put up wanted posters and her boyfriend Mickey is suspected of having murdered her!! After the trauma of reunion with her Mum and Mickey an alien spaceship crash-lands on the capital. An alien is rescued and the whole country speculates about what is going on. Soon, the call goes out to the Doctor for help. But meanwhile, all is not well at the heart of the Government — and there are some very strange people populating 10 Downing Street....

The writer, Russel T Davies brings to life the characters of Roses family and boyfriend and explores more than ever before the life and background of Rose as the Doctors companion. No previous companion has received this focus and it certainly adds a more emotional dimension to the storyline.

Keith Boak's directing took a lot of critcism, as did the general tone of the episode. One moment it was emotional, the next amusing, the next embarrassing. However I found these contrasts interesting and funny and they increased my enjoyment.

For example one moment the doctor says (to an alien of the Slitheen race who is disgused as a human)

"Do you mind not farting while I'm saving the world" (in actual fact we discover later that the farting sound is caused by the gas escaping from the Slitheen as he is too big to squeeze comfortably into human skin)

Then the tone is emotional again as Rose says about the doctor -

"He's not my boyfriend, he's much more.....important than that"

Doctor Who originally ran from 1963-1989 and then remained dormant as a TV series until its relaunch in 2003. Let's hope David Tennant as the 10th Doctor decides to stay a bit longer than his predecessor.

The Last King of Scotland

2007-01-26T01:59:00.000-08:00

Forest Whitaker gave an excellent performance as Idi Amin, a ruthless dictator who ruled Uganda in the 1970's. It shows that method acting really does bring results as while doing the part Whittaker ate only mashed bananas and beans and started learning Swahili and Kakwa!!

He managed to portray his ever altering persona of charm underpinned with evil and gave the character real individuality, never being guilty of overacting which may have been the temptation with this role. Based on Giles Fodens' novel of the same name the film is a fictional tale of young newly qualified Scottish doctor Nicholas Garrigan (played by James McAvoy) and his friendship with Amin. Amin is genuinely taken with Garrigan and invites him to be his personal physician. In return, Garrigan appears to almost hero-worship Amin, blinding himself to the evidence of the dictators' uncertain sanity and increasingly violent acts. Although Amin is happy to introduce Garrigan to many attractive women, Garrigan decides to have an affair with one of Amins' wives and the mother of two of his children. It is hard to have any sympathy with a man who makes such careless and foolish decisions. When Amin dismembers the body of the woman who has betrayed him and the friendship between himself and Garrigan descends into hatred it is hardly surprising. It is as if Garrigan expects Amin to react like a mild-mannered middle-class British man might - he does not see Amin and Africa in a realistic light.

Selling Sex

2006-12-18T10:05:00.000-08:00

When I was a child I was hooked (excuse the bad pun) on the film Pretty Woman starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts. Roberts played a prostitute who ended up falling in love with her gorgous rich client who luckily returned her feelings. The film presented the idea that there was something magical about the world of paid-for sex and that it was a bit like the story of Cinderella, a poor girl could make her fortune and emerge with no scars.

I recently went to see the much acclaimed film London to Brighton from new British writer/director Paul Andrew Williams. It was a brilliant portrayal of 24 hours in the lives of a prostitute and a young girl who had run away from home. The story is a simple one. The prostitute, played by Lorraine Stanley, is asked to procure a young girl of around 10 or 11 years old for her pimp's rich client. The girl, played by Georgia Groome is taken to the man's house where he proceeds to tie her up and menace her with a knife prior no doubt to some sado-masochistic sex act. The girl fatally stabs the client and she and the older prostitute go on the run away from their pimp and the son of the man who has been stabbed. There is a predictable twist in the ending when it emerges the son does not want revenge on his fathers killer but on the pimp. The ending, with the young girl reunited with her grandmother is poingnant as it is clear that the older prostitute returns to life on the streets. This brief synopsis does not do justice to the film which brilliantly portrays the brutality and corruption of the individuals who inhabit this world of violence and petty crime.

The recent murders in Ipswich have brought the world of paid-for sex to public attention. Surely if prostitution was legalised it would remove these vulnerable women from the streets as well as limit their opportunity to obtain money for drugs. Isn't it time we changed out attitudes in this country and stopped turning a blind eye to the oldest profession in the world?

Bloggers Christmas Social Event

2006-11-29T03:05:00.000-08:00

I heard tell of the following event on http://blog.britblog.com and am definitly going along - I like any excuse for a get-together and being new to the blogosphere I need all the advice I can get.

By popular demand there will be a Christmas blogmeet in London! It will be held on Saturday 9th December from about 2:30 PM, probably in a pub near Covent Garden. I’m thinking about the same pub as the last London blogmeet, but want to get a feel for numbers before we commit to anything.
These are always good fun once the ice is broken, so if you’re around please do drop in if you can. If you think you can make it (even if you’re not too sure), please leave a note below saying so in order for me to get a feel for numbers before I reserve any tables.
Pretty Please
It would be great if you could help spread the word about this event. They really are good fun, but only if people turn up! If you could mention it on your blog (even if you can’t make it) then it should help more people find out about it and boost the numbers. And of course, I’d be eternally grateful. Thanks

A Romantic Novel

2006-11-24T05:49:00.000-08:00

"Really, I didn't realise Bob was back" stammered Jane, hoping her voice did not betray the depth of emotion she was feeling. Her heart raced - last time she had seen Bob he had been the tall dark stranger with the pink ipod and the tartan socks she had fallen in love with, the man who had aroused her to such a crescendo of passion that she had found it impossible to erase him from her memory ever since, she could still remember his florescent yellow boxer shorts as they had fallen on the floor of the mud hut in Scotland where they had made love for the first time, it was a pity that sheep interrupted them at the most inconvenient moment.....

(to be continued.............)

Prostitution of my Talent??

2006-11-15T06:01:00.000-08:00

I was considering trying to write a romantic novel. It might be a money-spinner. Lots of women read them. They are short. They are in simple language. They all have a similar story in different settings (some of them have sex scenes in - some don't). Boy meets girl. Boy falls out with girl (include some type of weak storyline). They get back together and go off into the sunset. Throw in a man who is strong, rich, good looking, really arrogant and domineering with no sense of humour and a woman who is beautiful, sweeter than a candyfloss dipped in saccharin and more annoying than the Crazy Frog song and hopefully I will have a couple of grand in the bank no fuss.

The problem is I do not think of relationships in a traditionally romantic way - I tend to think they are like having a best friend you have sex with. I don't think writing
"She went out with him, they slept together. It was quite nice. They seemed to get on reasonably well and have a lot in common so they decided to live together"
is going to sell my book. So I thought I would have a look at some romantic novels in the local bookshop. Lines such as:
"He kissed her and it felt like the sun, moon and stars wre coming down from heaven and she was transported to other realms...."
did worry me. Who wants to read this drivel, I thought. Then I came up with an even better idea - I will write a comedy romantic novel...taking the mick out of the whole genre...,there must be lots of people who think like me who will buy it!! At least I hope so.

The Meaning of Life (2) - Everything is a Joke!

2006-11-10T03:00:00.000-08:00

I treat everything as an opportunity for humour. I started to think about this recently when a strange old man in a supermarket queue called me a facetious cow. The lady at the checkout had complained about being cold. He had remarked that if she did more work she would be warmer. I then pointed out that it was difficult for her to keep warm when she was sitting down all day and was only given a thin blouse to wear. Obviously he was a rude disturbed individual with no life and a personality disorder but it did make me think. There is nothing that I will not make a joke about - war, death, bald people, fat people, religion, the state of the world the list is endless. I don't think this is cruel or insensitive. I am happy to take a joke against myself and regularly make fun of myself also.

There was a time when the government in the UK were considering passing a law to ban jokes about race, religion, gender etc or whatever other stupid things some people get offended over. This would in effect ban all stand up comedy so I am glad it didn't happen.

There is something positive about everything - even death - afer all it will be interesting to find out what happens aferwards (obviously I don't want it to happen to me yet, I want to die in my sleep at age 100). So I think everyone should lighten up, stop moaning and laugh at each other more. Politics is a joke (look at the monkey in charge of the USA), religion is a joke (people claiming to support peace are making war on other religions also claiming to support peace). And when we die I am sure God will say something like
"What, the Bible - you didn't think I was serious with all that sh*te did you'!! I just wanted to give you something else to fight about!!"

The Vampire - A Poem for Halloween

2006-11-01T01:27:00.000-08:00

He walks in death, his silver claws are sheathed, soft to the touch.
His mouth is closed. Those ruby lips, those lips have kissed too much.
The grace and subtle charm he has, deceiving innocent eyes.
He smiles at them. A smile of blood, hiding a soul of ice.

The women with the flowing hair follow him with their gaze.
Their mouths are hiding fang-like teeth, their breath warm on his face.
Fusing him with sulky stares they move to let him pass.
For they are dead and he will find some living flesh at last.

Around his grave the sun may shine, around his headstone loved ones weep.
The echoed empty holy words still ring - he will not sleep.
As blackest night approaches, the throbbing life he'll take.
He'll leave a train of frozen hearts with stillness in his wake.

by Lorainne

Short And Sweet

2006-10-30T02:06:00.000-08:00

I was reading Carolines great post http://insearchofadam.blogspot.com about the beauty of using few words and saying what you mean without the enless rambling I and so many other people are guilty of.

So I will give it a go and say in 6 words what I would normally spend a paragraph drivelling on about.

About me - talkative, funny, hyperactive, caring, eccentric, open-minded.

On religion - Something after death. Not sure what.

On politics - Equality for all. Redistribution of wealth.

On relationships - Be honest. Be kind. Be rational.

On work - Be motivated by people. Not money.

OK I found that exercise very difficult but extremely useful in clarifying my thoughts. What does everyone else think??

5 Things You Didn't Know About Me

2006-10-23T16:50:00.000-07:00

Thanks Gentleman Oracle for tagging me. I will do you the honour of adding you to my blogroll when I get around to it.

5 things you didn't know about me;

1) I have unusually small ears and one of them is slightly pointed. I have long hair at the moment so no one notices, but when I had it short a few years ago people used to say I look like a pixie or an elf or something. I liked that actually so might have it cut again. I read a crazy book by some New Age Guru saying some of us are descended from faries and elves so I can imagine I am in this category.......

2) Lorainne is not the name on my birth certificate. I was originally named Lorna Jennifer Siobhan but hated Lorna so much that I made all my friends and family call me Lorainne until I changed it by deed poll at age 19. Chucked the Jennifer as well. I kept the Siobhan though (as my aunt chose it and would not have been pleased) and decided to spell Lorainne with 2 'n's because I read a book about numerology which said I would be luckier with that spelling.

3) I have seen a ghost but when I tell people about it they mostly laugh at me (apart from fellow student teacher Danni who is sitting next to me at the moment who believes in that kind of stuff...)

4) A lot of people say I am eccentric but I take this as a compliment.

5)I think I may have a third nipple and possibly a fourth but I have been told (by my boyfriend - because I do not just ask random people to look at my chest) that it may be a mole.
(Monkeys and female primates in general have four nipples as they have so many babies. Therefore residual addidional nipples in human females goes to prove Darwins theory of evolution. Or it could just mean I am a freak. I haven't got any babies (not yet, maybe one day I hope....) but I doubt I would be able to feed them from aforementioned additional nipples as they are very very tiny and not well formed)

Can't think of anyone to tag :-( - I am aware that some of my blogger contacts are not keen on being tagged - also am new to blogging and only have a few cyber-friends at the moment.......hopefully that will change very soon!!!

The Meaning of Life

2006-10-21T02:35:00.000-07:00

I have been reading 'Conversations with God' by Neale Donald Walsch. The author was going through a difficult time in his life and began writing a letter to God asking why everything was going wrong for him, why his job was going nowhere, his health was bad and his relationships failing. All of a sudden the pen began to move of its own accord and 'God' decided to reply. Automatic writing is I believe the term for this phenomena.

Through these conversations he discovers that we are here to realise that we are in fact part of God - mini-Gods so to speak and as soon as we realise our true nature we will have eternal life, eternal happiness, no more suffering and we will be able to create matter and be Gods of our own world. No need to go to church, synagogue, temple or whatever - the power is within us.

As for evil and good - it is all neutral - Walsch says even Hitler went to Heaven. Hmmmmm....

Attention Seeking

2006-10-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

Earlier this year I acted in a couple of productions put on by my local amateur drama society. I would willingly give up time at the pub/in bed/talking rubbish to my friends to stand in a chilly church hall and be told to run through the same scene for the 20th time and to:

"Stop smiling Lorainne because your character is feeling confused and unhappy right now"

It is hard to stop smiling when you are imagining the director crawling on all fours barking like a dog wearing a yellow feathered chicken costume. In case you are concerned for my mental health I always imagine people to be in humiliating and funny situations if they are annoying me (it is a good trick, you should try it). Obviously I didn't smile on the night and the show went fabulously well. I didn't enjoy rehearsing very much. I enjoyed going to the pub afterwards but the actual rehearsing was a drag. I felt there was no point - no one was really watching - it was not for real.

With my mountains of work now I am a student teacher I will not have time for drama until I qualify next June. Unless you count teaching as acting which of course it is.

I wish I could say that I miss acting because I have a deep and intellectual love of plays and literature. Or that I miss seeing fellow thespians. Or that I found rehearsing fun. These things are invariably true but what I really miss is the attention. Even though the audience consisted of the local blue rinse brigade (average age about 92) plus friends and family of the cast, and all we got as a review was a very small column in a very obscure local paper, the fact is, being on stage for those few hours over those three nights with hundreds of pairs of eyes looking at me gave me an amazing feeling. a feeling that for a short period of time, everyone in the room was concentrating on me, admiring me and wondering what I would say next......it is like being caught in a magic spell and I wanted it to last forever.

My Incessant Talking Problem

2006-10-16T09:24:00.000-07:00

I love speaking. For me it is like breathing, a way of existing not merely a form of communication. As a baby my mother thought I was incredibly gifted as I was talking much earlier than other babies. No such luck. I was just an incredible chatterbox.

On Thursday I began to experience a pain in my top left wisdom tooth. On Friday (Friday 13th!!) I went to the dentist who told me that there is no room in my mouth for my wisdom teeth to grow properly and proceeded to extract that particular tooth on the spot. As I was lying on the reclining seat with the dental nurse holding my head, half my face numbed and the dentist yanking at my tooth like mad what was I thinking?? Well it did cross my mind that if it didn't come out in one piece I might choke to death on bits of tooth and blood. However what was really frustrating me was the fact that this was a situation in which it was impossible to speak. Perhaps a gurgling sound would have been possible, but this would only cause the dentist to think I was a wimp and couldn't deal with it. Not being able to talk actually caused me more pain than the tooth extraction. This is when I began to think I may have a problem.

Dippeting Advice for those of a Grombie Persuasion

2006-10-16T06:23:00.000-07:00

A Grombie is an individual who expresses themselves in an unusual or eccentric manner. Dippeting is an activity which involves randomly writing or speaking without much thought and hoping something meaningful emerges. These words will not be in the dictionary yet because they have only just been created. By me.